Bliss or Miss?

I've read some very eloquent blog posts from attendees of Blissdom Canada. I'm not a writer, but I'll briefly share what I took away. By the way, I won my ticket through Cocktail Deeva's Live Loud contest. Just getting away from my kids and my business was a way for me to live loud!

The good. 

• I put myself out there. I came to meet fabulous women and make connections. So I approached groups of "populars" and introduced myself. I found small groups of ladies and sat down with them to talk about what they do. I joined tables for breakfast and lunch where I didn't know a soul. 

• It's amazing the conversations that can be started over a great pair of shoes.

• I approached Tracy Moore and had a short, but lovely conversation.

@LisLannin  @tracycityline

• I met Kathy Buckworth, who was gracious and just as funny IRL.

• I thoroughly enjoyed 2 sessions: a sprinkle of viral dust, and branding.

• I enjoyed not cooking, cleaning and yelling at kids for 3 whole days!

• I made some new and great friends.

• I made a fool of myself dressed as an old lady.

@LisLannin  @TeacherMomOfTwo

The bad.

• I found the conference to be a bit cliquey. Obviously many of these women know each other and are comfortable in their groups. At times I felt transported back to high school and feeling like a bit of a loser, often fighting the urge to find a corner and hide, watching from the sidelines. But I fought it.

• I didn't really get anything out of the entrepreneur tribe round table, except a stack of business cards. I think the tribes were a great idea, but would have liked to regroup on the last day and discuss what we learned and how to apply it.

• I liked the movie MissRepresentation, presented by Urban Moms, however I didn't enjoy the ranting afterwards, so I left.

• I made a fool of myself dressed as an old lady.

The ugly.

• Some people who seem fabulous online are not so fabulous in real life.

• During the keynote when asked to write down 5 things people don't know about me, I wrote that I thought I might be suffering from depression.

• I made a fool of myself dressed as an old lady.

Overall, I had a wonderful conference experience. I met many lovely ladies. I shared the new product I'm launching with some positive feedback. I made friends.

@Gemini_Momma  @ShopWithRobin  @LisLannin  @TheDaisyDiaries

So, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to bust my ass to launch my new venture, despite the setbacks I've experienced. I'm going to build my brand and my company. And I'm going to be back at Blissdom in a few years, on a panel, sharing my experiences and inspiring others to do it. There. Now I have to go, I have a lot of work to do! :-)

Monster Mommy

A couple of weeks ago my 9-year-old daughter drew this picture

This wasn't after a big shouting match or battle of wills. It was over a simple sharing issue and she didn't get her way. She stormed off to her room and slammed the door in the typical dramatic way things happen in our house with 3 girls. I gave her 5 minutes to cool down and went in to ask if she was ready to talk. On her bed beside her was this picture. I looked at it and left her room and cried in the bathroom.

Is this how they see me? What is wrong with me? I've turned into this yelling, demanding, dictating beast. A monster. I've been the one throwing tantrums and causing drama. They're just emulating what they see. I feel like a shitty mom – a failure. They deserve better than that.

It wasn't always like that. I was a perfect parent – before I had kids. I was going to have perfect little children who would make other parents jealous. How hard can it be? You tell them what to do and they do it. Easy peasy. But from the moment baby 1 was born and wouldn't latch on, I knew things would be very different. I need to learn how to do everything. And every day I do learn so much from my kids. And what I've learned from this little chapter of our lives is this:

From now on I will be
more happy than sad
more understanding than mad
more good than bad
because of all I have I should be glad

I want to LIVE LOUD!!!!

I submitted 3 photos to Cocktail Deeva's LIVE LOUD Blissdom Canada ticket contest.

Sure, these pictures are goofy, and designed to get a laugh, but each photo represents a way I'm going to live loud moving forward in my life. Am I going skydiving? Not sure, but I'm going to:
1. TAKE A LEAP
2. ENJOY THE RIDE
3. NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
 
But you know how I really live loud? It's through my kids.

If you asked these 3 lovelies how Mommy lives loud, they would say that she yells a lot (and maybe I do). Looking at the world through the eyes of a child, things aren't complicated. They're not stressful. Kids can go to a new playground they've never been to before, and think it's the greatest place they've ever been. They can try something new there and accomplish it, like the monkey bars. They can make a new best friend in 5 minutes, without even remembering her name.

So, I want to go to Blissdom Canada – a new playground for me – and I want to meet new people and maybe meet an instant friend. I want to learn something new, and make it to the end of the monkey bars.

I'm going to take the leap and launch a new business in the new year. I'm going to enjoy the ride and not concentrate so much on the outcome. I'm going to have fun and not worry about what other people think and be myself. That's how I'm going to LIVE LOUD.